It’s the holidays, but not everyone is now with their family. Due to child estrangement, some parents won’t see their children during the holidays. Numerous factors make these adult children spend their holidays alone rather than celebrating with their parents.
Child Estrangement Factors
At least 1 in 4 Americans are alienated from at least one of their parents or children, according to research by sociologist and gerontologist Karl A. Pillemer. There are several reasons why a child might desire to quit speaking with their parents.
Communication Gap / Lack Of Proper Communication
Communication is viewed differently by children and adults. Many of them are unaware of its importance, are frightened to talk about it, or find it difficult to discuss the topic or circumstance they are going through. As a result, many people prefer to talk about their concerns with peers. Parents can find this annoying at times, and unfortunately, pushing a youngster to be in an argument with them. Children begin to dislike their parents as a result. Children and parents don’t always get to spend as much time together due to work and other commitments. The youngster grows more aloof the more time passes without communication. So it stands to reason that there are instances where a youngster seeks comfort from others they spent time with while their parents are away.
Disparity In Values
A kid may occasionally disagree with their parents’ ideals, way of life, and views. The distinction between the political left and right, which was formerly thin, is now considerably thicker. Research indicates that Millennials are still the most liberal and democratic generation among adults, in contrast to the earlier generations. Assuming that the parents belong to Gen X or Baby Boomer generation, they may have divergent political opinions, which might result in arguments so ugly that the kid may desire to stop ties with their parents. In comparison to other generations, millennials and Gen Z members are also less likely to be affiliated with a particular faith. The parent-child bond might become strained when the younger children reject certain religious practices or views.
The younger generation also has a propensity for leading more liberal lives. Compared to previous decades, discussions on race, religion, and sexuality are now more freely conducted. However, some parents consider this kind of diversity and widespread acceptance to be wicked, forbidden, or unpleasant.
Envy
It might be tough for parents who have more than one kid to guarantee that their children are treated fairly. Unfortunately, some people do not bother because they favor one child over another. As a result, feuds develop, sometimes to the point where the less favored child refuses to do anything to their parents or siblings.
Children who are married or in a relationship are often persuaded to turn against their parents by their spouses. When a child’s spouse is envious of the parent-child bond, gaslighting might alter their perceptions of their parents.
Abuse – Physical, Psychological, Or Emotional
It is well known that abuse can lead to psychological issues in the future. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in every seven American children has been a victim of maltreatment, and this figure is “likely an underestimate because many cases remain unreported.” They added an even more devastating statistic: “In 2020, 1,750 children died in the United States due to abuse and neglect.” If a kid is a victim of abuse and is separated from their parents (whether or not they speak), they are exercising their right to stay safe and away from the dangers that their parents can impose on them.
Psychological Problems
The mental disease makes no distinctions. It has no regard for color, age, or gender; it may affect anyone. That being said, it can affect either the parents or the child and result in child estrangement.
Not everyone is capable of identifying the signs and symptoms of a mental disorder. When a person has a kind of it, their thinking is impaired and they are unaware of addressing it (sometimes, neither do the people they interact with). Unless the other side understands that there is a problem, many parent-child relationships deteriorate because neither parent nor kid knows that professional aid can help.
Reconnecting With Your Child
Reconnecting with your son or daughter might be daunting, especially if you haven’t spoken to them in a long time. Before you can help your child, you must first accept yourself. Recognize and internalize why your child refuses to interact with you.
If you are at fault and acknowledge it, carefully consider how you will apologize to them. If you are not ready to reconnect with your kid, it might not be the right time to do so. If you’ve done anything wrong, apologize honestly.
When you’re ready to talk to your child again, try not to focus too much on the issue that triggered it. Approach the problem with the expectation that there will be a solution soon. Most crucial, don’t explain or plead your case since it may cause everything to start anew.
To Summarize
It’s never easy when someone abandons you, but it’s even problematic when it’s your blood you refer to as “son” or “daughter.” There is an increasing number of child estrangement instances in the United States due to differences in ideas and lifestyle, and as flexible as that may be, some other circumstances that lead to a kid refusing to speak with their parents can be as painful as gas lighting or abuse situations.